S h a y .

I am not a financial advisor. 

I do not have an MBA, nor formal education in financial services. 

I simply have one burning question - why are women underrepresented in the investing world?

Dear Fridge,

It's been four years since we broke it off. No longer do I hear your robotic hum as I lie in bed at night. Your neon lights do not greet me as I prepare dinner. After a lifetime of codependency, your shiny and slick 6'2 self is no longer a part of my life.

I admit that getting over you was difficult. Food had lost its taste (I was eating a lot of canned beans), and I felt your absence in the kitchen. You had really become a part of the furniture.

Eggs don't need refrigeration

Fast forward four years, and life feels perfectly normal. In fact, I forget that being fridge-less is something of an anomaly (at least, in Melbourne). Gone is the burden of your electricity bills (you were always such high maintenance), and I am eating more fresh food. 

I may even go so far as to say that being without you has made me a better person. I walk more (all those trips to the grocery store), I only buy what I eat, and I waste very little. I've become more aware of food waste, and issues relating to sustainable food systems. 

Breaking up with you has opened my world, and I'm trying new things. 

You made me believe that I couldn't live without you. But the truth is, I'm doing fine. My life is easy, more interesting, more fulfilling. 

And a lot cheaper.

Other things that don't need refrigeration

Had the situation been different - had I lived with others, or lived far from grocery stores - things between us may have worked out.

But, for now, I shall remain,

Fridgelessly yours,

Shay



Take a walk down memory lane - here's my first post on fridgeless living 

Neuron of the human retina

I've been thinking about thinking.
About how our mind forms habits, patterns and perceptions; how they lead to convenience and less mental effort. And when this convenience becomes a barrier to better thinking.

Borrowing from ideas by thinking gurus such as Edward De Bono, Malcolm Gladwell and the Kelley brothers, here are some things I have learned:

Our mind looks for patterns. Establishing patterns allows us to make decisions faster, with less information, drastically simplifying the decision-making process.
Imagine you're getting dressed for the day. You have 10 tops, 10 bottoms and 10 jackets. If you have to consider each possible outfit, you have 1000 outfits from which to choose - making a daily task an exhausting process! Instead, you probably reach into your wardrobe and pull together an outfit similar to ones you've worn before, dramatically simplifying the process of getting dressed.

Although necessary for trivial tasks, this shortcut way of seeking patterns comes at the expense of curiosity. Because our mind likes to see patterns, we may accidentally ignore bits that don't fit into this pattern. Because we always take a particular route to work, we forget there are alternative routes. Because it's easier to stereotype and make assumptions, we forget to suspend our pre-judgements when getting to know someone.

Our mind forms patterns (routines and habits). Patterns allow us to reach an outcome faster, the more we repeat it. This type of thinking is often (over)emphasised in school - this is rote learning. Forming and repeating patterns make the behaviour more reflexive - we think faster, and achieve the same outcome with less thinking (for example, the more we rote learn the times tables, the faster we are at answering 7x9).

When we repeat past patterns, we think along paths of less mental resistance. It feels easy, 'natural' (because we've done it for a long time) - we go on autopilot.

Is this true? Is this the best way to do or think about it? 

We assume the answer to both these questions is yes, because it's easy and effortless... And our thinking is stuck in a rut - mechanical rather than exploratory, linear rather than divergent, predictable rather than creative.

I learned a new, perhaps intuitive, concept called Hedonic Adaptation. 

Here is how it can help you to be happy.

Have you come home after a long day, and felt comforted by the familiar smell of home? When it's time for bed, you notice that this distinct and comforting smell has disappeared. Similarly, you slip on a jumper in the morning; and the scratchy sensation of wool on skin quickly fades, as you get ready for the day.

We are made to adapt to sensation. Sensations dull over time because we become numb to things that we feel constantly. This is true for physical and psychological sensations (emotions). Increasing stimulation will only set a new baseline - a new "normal" - which your awareness soon adapts to by becoming numb. To get back that initial feeling, we may be driven to seek more stimulation - more excitement, more activity, more sugar, more salt, more stuff...which we soon adapt to...which triggers more chasing, ad infinitum. 

This is hedonic adaptation. 

And this cannot be sustained.

Is there an alternative? What if we cultivate our ability to sense and appreciate what is already there? To remind ourselves of aspects of life that once made us happy, and to allow these to make us happy again? 

Happiness does not come from endlessly seeking external stimulation. It comes when we learn to savour our reality. It comes when we decide to jolt our minds and hearts out of numbness. 

And this must come from within.